Perhaps it was the celestial bodies that configured the Earth's spiritual anomolies; or perhaps it was even the luxurious sciences that commands the rules and logic to organize faith and unknown, to Charlie, it was either choice he could blame for his rotten luck to be hooked up with the Toad Lady.
She sat there, bugging her eyes out to study the handsome men sitting behind Charlie. Her eyes holding a steady lustful gaze. Charlie swore her tongue was quivering. Why wouldn't it? One should not let a prize slip away from one's eager's tongue.
"What y'all like tanight? We got 'em shooters like those in New Yawrk." The waitress made a comforting smile as her wispy hands clasped lightly on her serving tray. She was beautiful in every sense of the word. Slim, blonde hair and ivory skin that was scented with a very aromtic tinge of vanilla. It was the Curse of the Rupe. This high end bar would only accept perfect models as waitresses, and bartenders. Even the bouncers had perfect toned skin!
"I would like a Cosmo to start and my friend here," Toad Lady just slurped up her drool," would like to start with the best brew in the house." Another warm smile and a quick scribble later, the waitress floated back to the bar while Toad Lady croaked on about her gym class politics.
"Ya see, Chuck, these girls today think that just becuase they have perky little breasts and can twirl boys around their dainty fingers, they can forget trying to better themselves in the world! Worse yet, some of the fatter ones are getting glorified for the 'volumptuous' bodies! can you believe that? Fatties are getting laid cuz some teenage horny boys are desperate enough to bang 'em! I, myself, am in good shape. I can crack a walnut with my sturdy thighs..."
Does she always wear a dress without underwear? How hard is it to sit like a lady? What was it with women that feel liberated to go commando? In fact, why is it that women are more often naked under their pants than men? There probably should be some boundaries for these types of situations.
"And dont me started on the lesbians on the team! Ever seen a horny little lesbian? It's like ya need a fuckin' shock collar! They get around faster than the sprinters on our A Team! But let me tell you.."
Was it a horrible thought to be wondering if she was a closet case? Or even a transgendered? Charlie had no problem with these ideas since his best friends are primarily gay men. He has experimented and even had a brief fling in college. It was no phase as most men would have said. For him, he felt more at ease and comfortable with himself around gay men. It was who Charlie was: a genuine Fag Hag.
"So there I was, takin' a good hot shower when I noticed that I have dang red dots all over my body! I thought they were flecks from shit in the forest, since I took the Grade 12 class out for a jog in the park, but then I noticed that I was itchin' and was developing welts!"
The waitress glided back with their drinks. A Cosmo and a freshly poured mug of beer. She eyed Charlie and gave him the most shy wink Charlie had ever seen... her eyelashes fluttered, dazzling those round blue eyes.
"Hey you! what's this beer? It taste pretty damn good!"
"It's locally made for this bar. The makers call it Waterfall Brew. 'Spose ta be.."
"Look lady, i jus' wanted the name okay? Now get your smart little bosom and tight rump back there and get us some nachos. Please."
With that, the furious scratching on her notepad, and the sharp tapping of her stilettos were warning enough for Charlie. Toad Lady, on the other hand, was basking in the mood of confrontation. Her smile and eyes oozed malevolence and even her skin was a very pale lime green.
"What does that little fairy know about the world, Chuck?"
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