Perhaps the weather described his mood. Charlie sat on the patio set outside his favorite coffee shop, sipping on his lukewarm, frothy latte. He liked the silky texture of the drink; the taste of it was okay. He asked for an Almond Roca Soy Latte. He got something that resembled it. I guess I should have reminded the new guy on bar to make it with fresh espresso shots .The grey clouds rolled with a somber stride across the sky. The air was thick and humid. He felt his skin dampen. Charlie looked about and saw many people wearing summer apparel in hopes the weather would break into glorious sunshine. However, the clouds have been in the sky for two days now and it would be for another few more days until it would either clear up or become a storm. Please let it rain . . . I want it to wash away all the bad karma around me.
****************************
It was raining as hard as it could on a Monday morning. Poor Charlie was sitting in his bed, watching his favorite show Ellen. He was enamoured with the show. It made him laugh from his gut; a sensation that eluded him for the last few years. He was able to smile a secret smile - no one likes to see Poor Charlie's smile. He watched as his favorite person in the world made people laugh, cry and feel good about him or herself. He watched, vicariously living each moment as if his own. He cried with a woman who won a lot of money and was given a new car. He bellowed an exciting scream as a famous actor candidly screamed as Ellen scared him in the bathroom. As he caught his breath, he looked outside and watched with serene calmness the raindrops hit his bedroom window ever so gently...
****************************
"Can I have a venti, triple shot, half - caff, soy latte?"
"Sure, that was one grande, triple, half - caff soy latte?"
"No, I wanted a VENTI latte."
"Sorry 'bout that. So that was a venti triple soy latte."
"Make it half - caff too, please."
"Sure. Sorry about that. Was there anything else I can do for you today?"
"No, that's alright."
"Okay so your drink comes to five dollars."
"Really? I thought it would be more. Did you add soy to my order?"
"Yes I did, I 'forgot' to add soy."
"Oh, okay. Thanks."
Charlie grabbed his soy latte at the end of the bar. He smelled the steamed soy; it was very warm. He looked about the room to find his date - a young man of nineteen. I should not be dating younger men. He sat down by the window. It was a dark brown armchair that has been worn down but perfect to completely relax in.
The window had flecks of snow melting on it. The snow flakes were sparse. Charlie watched the snow. He loved how the snow moved as one. How alive and connected these flecks of water floated and made their way from the heavens and unto the ground.
He looked at his watch, Why did I agree to this date? He is nineteen!
The snow was all he could concentrate on. He watched and wondered how such a beautiful scene can freeze people on mountain sides? How the snow can mount higher and higher and yet melt at heat that was no warmer than 1 degree Celsius?
He kept thinking of these trivial facts as he waited for his date - as he waited for a young man that would want to make Charlie smile, please Charlie and want to enjoy Charlie's company. This was something that scared Charlie: he was going on a date with a man. He thought it was a phase but then he found the man in question to be charming, sensitive and handsome.
He sipped his latte and noticed it was gone. He also noticed it got darker outside. He also noticed that he wanted another latte and enjoy his thoughts and allow his mind to wander.
What he did notice but did not care to be sullen about was that the young man did not come that day.
8.21.2009
8.19.2009
The Rupe Origin Story
The night was young. So why was poor Charlie sitting there, defeated before the battle had begun? It was because he was the worst speed dater out there. Tonight was another round of rejections, humiliations and triumphs for misfits and the shy of heart.Tonight was the night where love was at stake; everyone of the lonely wolf pack wanted to hunt down their share. Poor Charlie, he had a fear of women.
His fear (well, to be exact: his bad luck) of women went as far back as to when he was a little kid who was playing at the playground with twins, Lynnie and Minnie. he was showing them how to blow a booger out of the nose and shoot it very far. Poor Charlie! the girls thought he was gross and decided to pin him down and piled mounds of dirt on him and hopefully buried him out of the twins' existence.
Another incidence was when Charlie asked out the cutest girl in high school. He was a very poor soul that day. The sun shining and clouds whispering sweet nothings, poor Charlie was dressed from the toe nails up in formal regalia of his Scottish hergitage. For Heritage Day, at least that is what someone told him the day before from the foot ball team. By the time he had enough nerve to venture towards the Brat Pack by the cesspool of human animosity (known as the High School Cafeteria), they looked at him and screamed at the top of their whiny lungs, "Look at that sweaty beast! Kill him! Kill him before he takes us away and makes us his yeti girlfriends!"
Maybe it was his lack of confidence, or his lack of charisma, but it seemed women were repelled by him. He was not an ugly person; forbid him he wasn't! His chiseled chin and dark wavy hair whisked in the gentle fantasy wind on those cloudy days at the beach and his eyes were a vivid green and were electric when he found that a new edition of his favorite role playing game came out. His skin was a natural brown shade. It was darker and bronze in the summer and was paler yet glowing in the winter months. His hair though, it was everywhere! Hairy legs, hairy arms, hairy back and hair everywhere else...
As luck would have it for Charlie, men seemed to adore him. They played with his wavy hair, cuddled him because of his beautifully sculpted body, and they even wanted to date him for just being a good, decent person. "Nothing in return." They would all say. These were the people that Charlie respected and enjoyed his company with the most, but his truest feelings were saved for women. He always dreamt of women, got infatuated with the vixens. He also wanted to have a family one day. The men of his life were true friends and loyal, if nothing else, resilient and loving. They weren't women, and that was the truth.
His friends respected that. They encouraged him to be who he was. If women only wanted a shaved, bare skinned man, Charlie wasn't the man for them. If there was a woman who could care less, that lady would be lucky to ever meet Charlie in her lifetime. Hence his follied attempt, his fool's truth, to try out speed dating at the glamorous bar, The Rupe.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen," monotonous, Charlie thought, as the guy droned onwards, "tonight I'll be your host for the evening. My name is Bob and I'll be the go to guy for anything your hearts desire." If that was a double entendre, that would explain why three women left that sat closest to Bob. "The rounds are set up for four minutes a piece, so if you want to talk to a particular person some more, it would be alrght to leave with them from the speed dating tables. If you feel bored or irritated, you may leave on those basis as well. It is also..."
On and on he went with the tedious time consuming rules. Charlie whistled softly to a popular love song he heard when he first arrived, as he got to the chorus, another song bird chirpped up to finish the chorus. Charlie looked around; all were faces of eagerness, worrying frows and stoic pervertedness. With a sigh, he started again hoping to call out to her once more.
Anxiety had gotten the best of him. He tapped absently while the volunteers were splitting people up onto tables and giving them a pop cap. Each person was given one to participate a little side game for the night. If two people had found each other with the same numbered cap, they both get a free drink on the house, regardless of the price. That was a good reason to come, for Charlie, The Rupe had over priced, fabulous drinks that were beyond the money he was willing to spend. In fact, it took twenty dollars to from Charlie's wallet to be speed dating tonight. To ahve his favorite drink, it would be fourteen dollars. Why Charlie bothered to come, shooting his self esteem yet again, was even beyond his logic.
Two hours in and no one had a single interesting thing to say. "Oh my gawd, si that shirt on sale? I like it a lot!" "Ooh. a writer you say? Well I guess you would need some new ideas, eh? I can give some inspiration if you ever need it." "Man that haircut looks kickin'! I wished girls thought I was as hot as you, but hey, what can you do? I feel like leavin' do you?"
Man after woman, people barraged Charlie with ideas and weak pick up lines. he was tired and everyone started to feel bored and industrialized. He wanted to hide in his den at home. He started to regret ever coming and wanted to only discover his favorite stories of elves and magic, to read first hand adventures of barbarians and war lords. He wanted to write stories of great tales, but instead, he decided having a social was more mature for a saturday night. What a horrible idea. Why did he ever think he can find someone who was geeked out enough to come to a place like this?
The last round was called and was set for eight minutes for the determined-to-get-laid folk. Charlie was deciding whether to flirt the Toad Lady across from him or to feed her a fly. When time was almost up, a young lady, wearing a dress, coloured tan that faded into a wispy orange, accidentally bumped into Charlie while he was getting up.
"I'm sorry! I was trying to get away so I can escape the furball over there... "
"He told me he was bi. Did he tell you?"
"Naw, men don't really come out and say that. Are you?"
"I wonder some days..."
"Where's your 'date'?"
"Probably looking flies elsewhere."
"May I join you then?"
"Of course, if you don't mind my Toad's sweaty chair."
"Was she completely wasted?"
"I hope so, her eyes were pretty muched glossed and her face a light green."
"Well irregardless-"
"Regardless, you mean."
"Haha... well regardless, I will forget everything once I get to look at you and your well groomed hair."
"You find me handsome? What about that furball over there?"
"You're groomed, at least you smell nice and understand that intercourse has more than one meaning."
"Well, I'm willing to shave only my chest and back, but everything else stays."
"Deal."
They sat there for a brief moment, alowing a long look in each other's eyes. Something about her was immaculate and endearing. He couldn't put his finger on it. At least for now, he finally had a companion that could keep him attentive and carry an excellent conversation. Maybe there was hope after all."
"I like you eyes! They are amazing and shine like Sapphires. Though, I think you're hiding them behind your bouncy dark hair.
"Good thing I'm not fake then! I would have to spend hours every day to look pretty for. I'm part Mexican and part French. I'm a snob with too much passion for romance. Hard combination though, I tend to scare off men. Aw well, that's the way of love, eh?"
"I tend to attract them. And yes! it really is the love of love."
"Then you really are an asset to me! I'll just hang out with you and finding a lucky guy."
"But of course. We can score some hot men tonight."
Perma-grins. That's what Charlie thought as he took a quick swig as he looked at har again.
"Well it's getting late. Oh look! Our bottle caps have the same number."
"Um, I don't think so. Mine's upside down. See?"
"Then too bad mine's right side up."
What a cheesy line. It looked like it worked, but she suddenly got a phone call from her distressed mother. She made her apologies and rushed out of the bar. Poor Charlie drank the last of his third Cosmo and called for a taxi. While he waited, he sang that song again... only to realize he was singing "The Way of Love" by Cher.
His fear (well, to be exact: his bad luck) of women went as far back as to when he was a little kid who was playing at the playground with twins, Lynnie and Minnie. he was showing them how to blow a booger out of the nose and shoot it very far. Poor Charlie! the girls thought he was gross and decided to pin him down and piled mounds of dirt on him and hopefully buried him out of the twins' existence.
Another incidence was when Charlie asked out the cutest girl in high school. He was a very poor soul that day. The sun shining and clouds whispering sweet nothings, poor Charlie was dressed from the toe nails up in formal regalia of his Scottish hergitage. For Heritage Day, at least that is what someone told him the day before from the foot ball team. By the time he had enough nerve to venture towards the Brat Pack by the cesspool of human animosity (known as the High School Cafeteria), they looked at him and screamed at the top of their whiny lungs, "Look at that sweaty beast! Kill him! Kill him before he takes us away and makes us his yeti girlfriends!"
Maybe it was his lack of confidence, or his lack of charisma, but it seemed women were repelled by him. He was not an ugly person; forbid him he wasn't! His chiseled chin and dark wavy hair whisked in the gentle fantasy wind on those cloudy days at the beach and his eyes were a vivid green and were electric when he found that a new edition of his favorite role playing game came out. His skin was a natural brown shade. It was darker and bronze in the summer and was paler yet glowing in the winter months. His hair though, it was everywhere! Hairy legs, hairy arms, hairy back and hair everywhere else...
As luck would have it for Charlie, men seemed to adore him. They played with his wavy hair, cuddled him because of his beautifully sculpted body, and they even wanted to date him for just being a good, decent person. "Nothing in return." They would all say. These were the people that Charlie respected and enjoyed his company with the most, but his truest feelings were saved for women. He always dreamt of women, got infatuated with the vixens. He also wanted to have a family one day. The men of his life were true friends and loyal, if nothing else, resilient and loving. They weren't women, and that was the truth.
His friends respected that. They encouraged him to be who he was. If women only wanted a shaved, bare skinned man, Charlie wasn't the man for them. If there was a woman who could care less, that lady would be lucky to ever meet Charlie in her lifetime. Hence his follied attempt, his fool's truth, to try out speed dating at the glamorous bar, The Rupe.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen," monotonous, Charlie thought, as the guy droned onwards, "tonight I'll be your host for the evening. My name is Bob and I'll be the go to guy for anything your hearts desire." If that was a double entendre, that would explain why three women left that sat closest to Bob. "The rounds are set up for four minutes a piece, so if you want to talk to a particular person some more, it would be alrght to leave with them from the speed dating tables. If you feel bored or irritated, you may leave on those basis as well. It is also..."
On and on he went with the tedious time consuming rules. Charlie whistled softly to a popular love song he heard when he first arrived, as he got to the chorus, another song bird chirpped up to finish the chorus. Charlie looked around; all were faces of eagerness, worrying frows and stoic pervertedness. With a sigh, he started again hoping to call out to her once more.
Anxiety had gotten the best of him. He tapped absently while the volunteers were splitting people up onto tables and giving them a pop cap. Each person was given one to participate a little side game for the night. If two people had found each other with the same numbered cap, they both get a free drink on the house, regardless of the price. That was a good reason to come, for Charlie, The Rupe had over priced, fabulous drinks that were beyond the money he was willing to spend. In fact, it took twenty dollars to from Charlie's wallet to be speed dating tonight. To ahve his favorite drink, it would be fourteen dollars. Why Charlie bothered to come, shooting his self esteem yet again, was even beyond his logic.
Two hours in and no one had a single interesting thing to say. "Oh my gawd, si that shirt on sale? I like it a lot!" "Ooh. a writer you say? Well I guess you would need some new ideas, eh? I can give some inspiration if you ever need it." "Man that haircut looks kickin'! I wished girls thought I was as hot as you, but hey, what can you do? I feel like leavin' do you?"
Man after woman, people barraged Charlie with ideas and weak pick up lines. he was tired and everyone started to feel bored and industrialized. He wanted to hide in his den at home. He started to regret ever coming and wanted to only discover his favorite stories of elves and magic, to read first hand adventures of barbarians and war lords. He wanted to write stories of great tales, but instead, he decided having a social was more mature for a saturday night. What a horrible idea. Why did he ever think he can find someone who was geeked out enough to come to a place like this?
The last round was called and was set for eight minutes for the determined-to-get-laid folk. Charlie was deciding whether to flirt the Toad Lady across from him or to feed her a fly. When time was almost up, a young lady, wearing a dress, coloured tan that faded into a wispy orange, accidentally bumped into Charlie while he was getting up.
"I'm sorry! I was trying to get away so I can escape the furball over there... "
"He told me he was bi. Did he tell you?"
"Naw, men don't really come out and say that. Are you?"
"I wonder some days..."
"Where's your 'date'?"
"Probably looking flies elsewhere."
"May I join you then?"
"Of course, if you don't mind my Toad's sweaty chair."
"Was she completely wasted?"
"I hope so, her eyes were pretty muched glossed and her face a light green."
"Well irregardless-"
"Regardless, you mean."
"Haha... well regardless, I will forget everything once I get to look at you and your well groomed hair."
"You find me handsome? What about that furball over there?"
"You're groomed, at least you smell nice and understand that intercourse has more than one meaning."
"Well, I'm willing to shave only my chest and back, but everything else stays."
"Deal."
They sat there for a brief moment, alowing a long look in each other's eyes. Something about her was immaculate and endearing. He couldn't put his finger on it. At least for now, he finally had a companion that could keep him attentive and carry an excellent conversation. Maybe there was hope after all."
"I like you eyes! They are amazing and shine like Sapphires. Though, I think you're hiding them behind your bouncy dark hair.
"Good thing I'm not fake then! I would have to spend hours every day to look pretty for. I'm part Mexican and part French. I'm a snob with too much passion for romance. Hard combination though, I tend to scare off men. Aw well, that's the way of love, eh?"
"I tend to attract them. And yes! it really is the love of love."
"Then you really are an asset to me! I'll just hang out with you and finding a lucky guy."
"But of course. We can score some hot men tonight."
Perma-grins. That's what Charlie thought as he took a quick swig as he looked at har again.
"Well it's getting late. Oh look! Our bottle caps have the same number."
"Um, I don't think so. Mine's upside down. See?"
"Then too bad mine's right side up."
What a cheesy line. It looked like it worked, but she suddenly got a phone call from her distressed mother. She made her apologies and rushed out of the bar. Poor Charlie drank the last of his third Cosmo and called for a taxi. While he waited, he sang that song again... only to realize he was singing "The Way of Love" by Cher.
8.06.2009
The Rupe Strikes Again! (Part 2)
If there was a word that would describe the situation, it would be this one: SNAFU. A term that had been used to describe the men and women who were neurotic enough to know the word and has used it to exclaim certain vagaries of their lives. For Charlie, this was his Snafu. This was the perfect example of how Snafu was a working deity here in this bar. It was so perfect, he would bet anything that no else had had to endure a thigh walnut cracking, pastel greened, gender confused, controlling woman as he had. More so, the cherry on top of this was that he agreed to this date based solely on the fact he blew her off once before!*
"Ya see, Chuck! See that mole right there? I got that baby when I was 13 and was going to a private school my pops put me through. It came around the time before Christmas break and just after the Halloween dance,"
Charlie kept losing track of the conversation. He was pretty sure that nodding every once in a while was a legit equal part of his side of the conversation at this point. Albeit for the occasional gasp and accommodating chuckle, Charlie looked about to see where their waitress was. It was obvious after she came with the nachos that she was different. Her skin was pale, mouth stricken and her eyes, those bubbly eyes, were vapid and glossed with anger.
"My gosh, Chuck. You are the sweetest man, you know that? I'm not just being rhetorical or anything but I really mean it! I'm not good with words, but by damn it all, Chuck. I like you."
"I like you too," the waitress, making her smooth entrance, placed the bill gracefully beside Toad Lady's side of the table. She smiled innocently at Toad Lady, "Your charm is so insatiable and just looking at your manly arms just give me the vapours."
"I'm not a man."
"Could've fooled me."
The waitress stood there with a smug smile and wickedly eyed Charlie. The toad had croaked and bugged her eyes out and breathing heavily through her nose. Charlie drank the rest of his Cosmo.... all one full cup of it. He placed it on the table, and looked at the waitress with pleading eyes to avert the fight. It was, if nothing else, a vague success as she asked Charlie if he wanted seconds and left for his second drink. Toad Lady on the other hand, had started to sweat profusely. her light blue blouse was getting dark spots under her arms.
"Stupid bitch. I should smack her a good one! Oooh, if she ever said where no one could hear her scream..."
The room was spinning round and round. It could possibly be the Cosmo, or even the tension at the table, or even both. Charlie counted the many ways he could leave, the may excuses he could make and the many gay men he could text to pick him up from this exploded situation. Women were crazy at best and were crazy at their worst. Contrary to popular belief, the penis does not solve a woman's problems.
"In the boot camp I was shent ta Brown Bear Lake.."
Slurring? Guess Charlie wasn't the only one for a lack of sensibility. Now that he noticed it, she was actually sweating a lot and has not one, but two sweat spots on either side of the front of her blouse. Her hair had come down in soggy drapes to accentuate her very round face, and her lips barely opened to talk. What a flashback as to how they first met! She must have been drunk when they met.
The waitress, who seems to slip in and out of this small, horrible world at the table was looking curiously at the Toad Lady,"Hey mister. I know it isn't not my business, but is she okay? I know I insulted her but - "
"It's alright. I think we are done for tonight. She's had one too many drinks tonight. I've seen this before. She will be okay once someone gets her home."
The waitress was unsure and pressed further, "How are you getting home?"
"Well by myself, by the looks of things."
"You sure mister? I get off in an hour."
"It's alright, I have a busy day tomorrow."
She shrugged,"All right, have a good night mister." Walking away, Charlie thought he heard her say the words poor thing and what a pity; but then, he was barely able to stand up and not stagger his way out of the Rupe with the Toad Lady. He looked back once more and saw the waitress in the between two tables - smiling and sparkling those beautiful eyes at strangers.
"Good night to you too, little lady."
With that, Charlie called a taxi for the Toad Lady and had grabbed his only designer coat. As he ushered into the taxi, he kept a peeking eye for the waitress. Hoping to see her one more time. It was an early evening, for Poor Charlie, it was a late night out. He had to get up tomorrow morning, take a jog, then to the gym and then off to work. For Poor Charlie, his regiment kept him happy, if nothing else.
*The Rupe Origin Story
"Ya see, Chuck! See that mole right there? I got that baby when I was 13 and was going to a private school my pops put me through. It came around the time before Christmas break and just after the Halloween dance,"
Charlie kept losing track of the conversation. He was pretty sure that nodding every once in a while was a legit equal part of his side of the conversation at this point. Albeit for the occasional gasp and accommodating chuckle, Charlie looked about to see where their waitress was. It was obvious after she came with the nachos that she was different. Her skin was pale, mouth stricken and her eyes, those bubbly eyes, were vapid and glossed with anger.
"My gosh, Chuck. You are the sweetest man, you know that? I'm not just being rhetorical or anything but I really mean it! I'm not good with words, but by damn it all, Chuck. I like you."
"I like you too," the waitress, making her smooth entrance, placed the bill gracefully beside Toad Lady's side of the table. She smiled innocently at Toad Lady, "Your charm is so insatiable and just looking at your manly arms just give me the vapours."
"I'm not a man."
"Could've fooled me."
The waitress stood there with a smug smile and wickedly eyed Charlie. The toad had croaked and bugged her eyes out and breathing heavily through her nose. Charlie drank the rest of his Cosmo.... all one full cup of it. He placed it on the table, and looked at the waitress with pleading eyes to avert the fight. It was, if nothing else, a vague success as she asked Charlie if he wanted seconds and left for his second drink. Toad Lady on the other hand, had started to sweat profusely. her light blue blouse was getting dark spots under her arms.
"Stupid bitch. I should smack her a good one! Oooh, if she ever said where no one could hear her scream..."
The room was spinning round and round. It could possibly be the Cosmo, or even the tension at the table, or even both. Charlie counted the many ways he could leave, the may excuses he could make and the many gay men he could text to pick him up from this exploded situation. Women were crazy at best and were crazy at their worst. Contrary to popular belief, the penis does not solve a woman's problems.
"In the boot camp I was shent ta Brown Bear Lake.."
Slurring? Guess Charlie wasn't the only one for a lack of sensibility. Now that he noticed it, she was actually sweating a lot and has not one, but two sweat spots on either side of the front of her blouse. Her hair had come down in soggy drapes to accentuate her very round face, and her lips barely opened to talk. What a flashback as to how they first met! She must have been drunk when they met.
The waitress, who seems to slip in and out of this small, horrible world at the table was looking curiously at the Toad Lady,"Hey mister. I know it isn't not my business, but is she okay? I know I insulted her but - "
"It's alright. I think we are done for tonight. She's had one too many drinks tonight. I've seen this before. She will be okay once someone gets her home."
The waitress was unsure and pressed further, "How are you getting home?"
"Well by myself, by the looks of things."
"You sure mister? I get off in an hour."
"It's alright, I have a busy day tomorrow."
She shrugged,"All right, have a good night mister." Walking away, Charlie thought he heard her say the words poor thing and what a pity; but then, he was barely able to stand up and not stagger his way out of the Rupe with the Toad Lady. He looked back once more and saw the waitress in the between two tables - smiling and sparkling those beautiful eyes at strangers.
"Good night to you too, little lady."
With that, Charlie called a taxi for the Toad Lady and had grabbed his only designer coat. As he ushered into the taxi, he kept a peeking eye for the waitress. Hoping to see her one more time. It was an early evening, for Poor Charlie, it was a late night out. He had to get up tomorrow morning, take a jog, then to the gym and then off to work. For Poor Charlie, his regiment kept him happy, if nothing else.
*The Rupe Origin Story
The Rupe Strikes Again! (Part 1)
Perhaps it was the celestial bodies that configured the Earth's spiritual anomolies; or perhaps it was even the luxurious sciences that commands the rules and logic to organize faith and unknown, to Charlie, it was either choice he could blame for his rotten luck to be hooked up with the Toad Lady.
She sat there, bugging her eyes out to study the handsome men sitting behind Charlie. Her eyes holding a steady lustful gaze. Charlie swore her tongue was quivering. Why wouldn't it? One should not let a prize slip away from one's eager's tongue.
"What y'all like tanight? We got 'em shooters like those in New Yawrk." The waitress made a comforting smile as her wispy hands clasped lightly on her serving tray. She was beautiful in every sense of the word. Slim, blonde hair and ivory skin that was scented with a very aromtic tinge of vanilla. It was the Curse of the Rupe. This high end bar would only accept perfect models as waitresses, and bartenders. Even the bouncers had perfect toned skin!
"I would like a Cosmo to start and my friend here," Toad Lady just slurped up her drool," would like to start with the best brew in the house." Another warm smile and a quick scribble later, the waitress floated back to the bar while Toad Lady croaked on about her gym class politics.
"Ya see, Chuck, these girls today think that just becuase they have perky little breasts and can twirl boys around their dainty fingers, they can forget trying to better themselves in the world! Worse yet, some of the fatter ones are getting glorified for the 'volumptuous' bodies! can you believe that? Fatties are getting laid cuz some teenage horny boys are desperate enough to bang 'em! I, myself, am in good shape. I can crack a walnut with my sturdy thighs..."
Does she always wear a dress without underwear? How hard is it to sit like a lady? What was it with women that feel liberated to go commando? In fact, why is it that women are more often naked under their pants than men? There probably should be some boundaries for these types of situations.
"And dont me started on the lesbians on the team! Ever seen a horny little lesbian? It's like ya need a fuckin' shock collar! They get around faster than the sprinters on our A Team! But let me tell you.."
Was it a horrible thought to be wondering if she was a closet case? Or even a transgendered? Charlie had no problem with these ideas since his best friends are primarily gay men. He has experimented and even had a brief fling in college. It was no phase as most men would have said. For him, he felt more at ease and comfortable with himself around gay men. It was who Charlie was: a genuine Fag Hag.
"So there I was, takin' a good hot shower when I noticed that I have dang red dots all over my body! I thought they were flecks from shit in the forest, since I took the Grade 12 class out for a jog in the park, but then I noticed that I was itchin' and was developing welts!"
The waitress glided back with their drinks. A Cosmo and a freshly poured mug of beer. She eyed Charlie and gave him the most shy wink Charlie had ever seen... her eyelashes fluttered, dazzling those round blue eyes.
"Hey you! what's this beer? It taste pretty damn good!"
"It's locally made for this bar. The makers call it Waterfall Brew. 'Spose ta be.."
"Look lady, i jus' wanted the name okay? Now get your smart little bosom and tight rump back there and get us some nachos. Please."
With that, the furious scratching on her notepad, and the sharp tapping of her stilettos were warning enough for Charlie. Toad Lady, on the other hand, was basking in the mood of confrontation. Her smile and eyes oozed malevolence and even her skin was a very pale lime green.
"What does that little fairy know about the world, Chuck?"
She sat there, bugging her eyes out to study the handsome men sitting behind Charlie. Her eyes holding a steady lustful gaze. Charlie swore her tongue was quivering. Why wouldn't it? One should not let a prize slip away from one's eager's tongue.
"What y'all like tanight? We got 'em shooters like those in New Yawrk." The waitress made a comforting smile as her wispy hands clasped lightly on her serving tray. She was beautiful in every sense of the word. Slim, blonde hair and ivory skin that was scented with a very aromtic tinge of vanilla. It was the Curse of the Rupe. This high end bar would only accept perfect models as waitresses, and bartenders. Even the bouncers had perfect toned skin!
"I would like a Cosmo to start and my friend here," Toad Lady just slurped up her drool," would like to start with the best brew in the house." Another warm smile and a quick scribble later, the waitress floated back to the bar while Toad Lady croaked on about her gym class politics.
"Ya see, Chuck, these girls today think that just becuase they have perky little breasts and can twirl boys around their dainty fingers, they can forget trying to better themselves in the world! Worse yet, some of the fatter ones are getting glorified for the 'volumptuous' bodies! can you believe that? Fatties are getting laid cuz some teenage horny boys are desperate enough to bang 'em! I, myself, am in good shape. I can crack a walnut with my sturdy thighs..."
Does she always wear a dress without underwear? How hard is it to sit like a lady? What was it with women that feel liberated to go commando? In fact, why is it that women are more often naked under their pants than men? There probably should be some boundaries for these types of situations.
"And dont me started on the lesbians on the team! Ever seen a horny little lesbian? It's like ya need a fuckin' shock collar! They get around faster than the sprinters on our A Team! But let me tell you.."
Was it a horrible thought to be wondering if she was a closet case? Or even a transgendered? Charlie had no problem with these ideas since his best friends are primarily gay men. He has experimented and even had a brief fling in college. It was no phase as most men would have said. For him, he felt more at ease and comfortable with himself around gay men. It was who Charlie was: a genuine Fag Hag.
"So there I was, takin' a good hot shower when I noticed that I have dang red dots all over my body! I thought they were flecks from shit in the forest, since I took the Grade 12 class out for a jog in the park, but then I noticed that I was itchin' and was developing welts!"
The waitress glided back with their drinks. A Cosmo and a freshly poured mug of beer. She eyed Charlie and gave him the most shy wink Charlie had ever seen... her eyelashes fluttered, dazzling those round blue eyes.
"Hey you! what's this beer? It taste pretty damn good!"
"It's locally made for this bar. The makers call it Waterfall Brew. 'Spose ta be.."
"Look lady, i jus' wanted the name okay? Now get your smart little bosom and tight rump back there and get us some nachos. Please."
With that, the furious scratching on her notepad, and the sharp tapping of her stilettos were warning enough for Charlie. Toad Lady, on the other hand, was basking in the mood of confrontation. Her smile and eyes oozed malevolence and even her skin was a very pale lime green.
"What does that little fairy know about the world, Chuck?"
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